I don’t ever feel like doing anything. I just want to eat and sleep and lay in my bed all day. I never want to leave my house. The only reason I do is that I don’t have anything to entertain myself with. I have a ton of reasons I should want to leave. I miss people. I hate people. I don’t know what’s going on with me. The smallest things can bring up so much emotion. I don’t get it. I want to be carefree again. A lot of people will say they wouldn’t want to go back to the past. But I would. Without even a second thought. Things were so much simpler and easier. All I’ve done lately is complain and be sad. I don’t like it and I’m trying to fix it. I just have no clue how to do it

My best friends are so wonderful. I’m really blessed to have them.

Look at us. I mean, at least she looks good

That’s cool bejeweled blitz. Don’t give me a move.

Farting on a merry go round
makes a cool sound

I’m writing this for no reason other than it needs to be said. She deserves to finally hear this.

I was really lucky. My first girlfriend was wonderful to me. But I wasn’t always as good to her as I should have been. Most of the time I thought I was. But looking back, I know she deserved so much better.

I don’t even really know how to say all this. She was just good. She never got annoyed, or at least didn’t tell me, when I was learning how to have a girlfriend. I mean I had never had one so I had no idea what I was doing. She never made me feel like I wasn’t enough in any way. She said some of the sweetest things. I stopped saying the sweet things once we got together. I shouldn’t have because I still thought them. I just didn’t see the need to say them I guess. She loved me. She never let me forget. For some stupid reason, I just didn’t appreciate her like I should have. And I feel bad about it. I never even really took her out on a date. What the hell is that? I wish I could make it up to her. I guess that’s why I’m writing this maybe. Really hoping she sees this. Maybe to show that I know I messed up and that I’m sorry. It’s not as good as if I had done right in the first place but it’s the best I can do at this time.

There is so much more, but I just can’t put into words what she was to me, what she still is to me.

I love you

This girl is a champ at truth or dare

I keep having these dreams where I’m at work. And either something scary happens, or something just goes wrong. It’s weird

I finally got a haircut. I look way too happy.

I just had a dream. One that I’ve had before.

I’m working, but not at my usual site. And we’re having to stay overnight for some reason. Something is familiar and I start to tell my coworker how I’ve dreamed about this and how it’s scary and I don’t like it. I begin to say that someone is about to knock on the door, when I’m interrupted by the knocking. At first I’m excited because I felt like a psychic. But then I realize that the dream is about to take a very scary turn. My coworker walks over to see who is at the door. As she starts to open it, the door swings open. There is a shadowy old man standing there and my coworker has vanished. There is just something not right about him. I don’t know how to describe it. It’s almost like he’s a ghost. It’s just plain terrifying.

Then I woke up and almost pissed myself because my window is open and I was asleep with my back to it.